D. F. Krieger

Monday, January 10, 2011

Submission Sickness

It happened.  Today was the day, and I was so frightened I became darn near sick.  There was nothing left to hold me back.  The story had been checked, checked again, checked some more, and edited by several critique partners.  When both I, and they, couldn't find anything else to label the story as unworthy yet for submission, I panicked.

You see, I'm one of those people that I'll write all the live long day.  I've been published before; but somehow magazines (though reputable) just don't have the same mystique as a PUBLISHER.  Yes, it must be capitalized because it is akin to an entity in the eyes of all writers; especially aspiring writers.

Published; it's a wish whispered only to the darkest nights, in a moment tempered with desire and pure emotion.  We need it to happen like a laboring woman must give birth.  It hurts, it's frightening, we may go through several false starts; but on that day it finally occurs, it has changed us forever.  It may not be physical, but the emotions are there.  And once you've had it happen the first time, each time is easier and easier; less frightening as it looms up.

You can always tell the veterans in a room full of writers, much like in a room full of expecting mothers. Those that sit there with passive faces, reflecting on their own trials, their own labor of love.  Then there are the newcomers to this lifestyle, that fidget nervously and glance about with wide and frightened eyes.  We need you, veterans, to smile at us with encouragement and give us hope that we can be like you some day; sitting in a room with calm focus.

So today I composed my e-mail, checked over and over my spelling and presentation, and pressed the 'Send' button.  Okay, so honestly I cowered away at the last minute and begged my husband to do it while I covered my eyes.  But either way, my shoulders slumped when it was over.  Its a relief to know it's now out of my hands.  Oh, I'll probably pace restlessly for days, praying I don't receive an outright rejection.  I can guarantee one thing; no matter the outcome, I will see it as a learning experience and continue to forge ahead.

2 comments:

Angelina Rain said...

Good Luck! I have my fingers crossed for you. What publisher/publishers did you send to?

D. F. Krieger said...

Thank you! I sent "Sail My Oceans" to Ellora's Cave. They currently had a pirate theme open right now. And thanks for the follow!