Dear Ms Krieger,
We don't like your stuff.
Dream-Crusher's R US
Okay, so it wasn't really like that. But the e-mail was very...unhelpful. All that kept echoing in my head once I read it was, "Why?" Why didn't they want it? Why didn't it suit their needs? I would have liked at least something a little more personal then 'Insert Author Name, Insert Story Name", proceed with standard rejection letter.
So I decided to take it into my own hands. NO! I did not e-mail them a snarky note telling them I couldn't be a better writer if they didn't tell me what was wrong (no matter how badly I wanted to). I did something crazy instead. I opened up my story and read the first two paragraphs. Wow, yuck.
The problem is, I've learned so much since I wrote that (yes, I understand it's only been a month and a half) that I almost reeled at my writing. I saw a blog recently where a friend posted what she'd had (a book blurb) that was rejected; and what it looked like after she fixed it. I think I'll do something like that so you can see what I saw.
I need to get laid. The captain of the Tartarus smiled grimly at her thoughts as her ship pulled gracefully into the port of the main city of Dremes, on the planet of Hope.The planet’s name was a sham, of course, for Hope carried little of its name sake. It was a place for refugees, rebels, thieves on the run, and runaway slaves. Dremes had started out as a shanty town, but was growing rapidly into the only major city on the entire planet. The city was a universal haven for any who trafficked in illicit activities. It was an ideal place for people like Lucy Verr, captain of the Tartarus, to do business.
And after some tweaking, grumbling, and frustration at my own limited abilities; it turned into:
Lucy Verr smiled grimly as her starship, Tartarus, shuddered and wobbled while it pulled into the pitiful excuse for a planet-side port. Dust, stirred up from her ship’s descent, swirled across the landscape as bouts of wind buffeted the metal hull.I need to get laid.The thought came unbidden, and seemingly from nowhere. Lucy let her eyes rove the landscape, until she realized the thought was an echo of her environment. Her sex life, she mused, was undergoing a drought of its own, much like this planet.Somehow, the weather suited the city it cradled and ravaged. Dremes, the town for thieves, runaways, and pirates; a utopia for bad business, dirty deeds, and disappearing acts. It was an ideal place for someone like Lucy Verr. She happened to have low friends in high places on Dremes, and that often made her life very interesting.
Am I going to let this get me down? No. Okay, maybe some. I'm really needing a good snuggle and whimper session with my husband now. But I'm not going to quit writing. I'm going to finish His Prey. Afterwards I'm going to revamp the rest of Sail My Oceans. I will get this sucker published. After all, Krieger means 'Warrior' in German; that makes me a fighter! ~ D. F. Krieger