I was attacked last night! It was scary, but in fighting back, I gained my feral cats lasting admiration. I am a hunter in his eyes now.
You see, it all started at almost two in the morning. I'd been in bed for about half an hour (I just know I'm going to hear it from my father-in-law when he reads this!) when I heard a strange humming sound. I brushed it off. We live near two airports so I figured it was simply a helicopter doing night ops. That was, until it smacked into my arm. It was huge and hard and distinctly insect-like. I shot upright and shook my arm like I was trying to get a deadly goo off before it ate me alive. I got it off alright.
And when it attached to my face, I realized I would have been better off letting it stay on my arm.
With a shriek that could wake the dead (I know it's true because it actually woke my husband), I bolted out of bed, flailing like a head-banger at a metal concert. When it disappeared, I stood there shaking, uncertain how to explain to my husband that I'd just been viciously attacked. I'm sure he thought I was quite insane, but in my defense the room was pitch black and there was no way he could see the horrid creature. My husband, gods bless his little heart, starting trying to talk me into calming down like one talks a mental patient off a ledge.
"It was probably just a nightmare," he said.
Upon hearing that, I had every intention to sulk...for days! But then I heard the humming again, and a thunk as it landed on the wall that our headboard rests against. My cat (Macbeth) and I lunged for the spot at the same time. I belatedly realized that until I knew exactly what kind of insect it was, grabbing it was not in my best interest. I raced to the other side of the room and switched on the light.
I'll admit I smirked when my husband yelped in agony at the sudden blinding light.
Macbeth, mean while, was up on the bed and frantically digging at my pillow. I pushed him to the side, pulled the pillow back, and jumped back myself when a large black blur went flying past my head. The ominous humming echoed loudly as it flew in ever tightening circles towards the ceiling. Macbeth paced under it, chittering deep in his throat.
"Smack it," my husband suggested.
I stared at him in horror. "I don't know what it is. What if it stings me? I'm going to wait til it lands."
When it did land, I gave a silent prayer that I hadn't took my husband's advice. It landed on my fan cord, about the size of a quarter. It was by far the biggest STINK BUG I'd ever seen in my life!
Thinking quickly, I grabbed a cup and a plastic object and trapped the stink bug, then hurried down the hallway and threw it outside. When I returned, Macbeth twined around my legs. The adoration in his eyes told me more then words ever could; I was now the best hunter ever!
I suppose in cat this means I've officially leveled up. When I awoke this morning, Macbeth was so lovable, he even made it difficult for me to get dressed. I guess I should be proud. I've ranked up from Servant to Lady In Waiting. ~ D. F. Krieger