D. F. Krieger

Monday, February 27, 2012

Must Read Monday: Dog Tails

This is a self published book, and it isn't the usual romance I pimp on here, but "My Dog!" it is cute!

Meet Lola, Pudgy, and Jazzy, three canine cuties that will warm your heart and make you laugh.

In Thank Dog It's Friday, Lola and her human mommy, Trisha trade bodies for a day! Can they cope with their new bodies and prevent Trisha's husband from throwing her into a mental institution?

Pugnacious introduces Pudgy, a very pugnacious pug. She takes her job in a dog bakery very seriously and when the bakery is robbed, it's up to her to save the day, the cash, and the canine cookies!

In Tail of Terror, Jazzy does the unthinkable and she runs away. If she can survive the mean streets, there may be a lesson in store for her and she may make a new friend.

Dog Tails is intended for dog lovers everywhere, but even cat lovers will smile and fall in love with Lola, Pudgy, and Jazzy.

I have to admit, I literally laughed out loud at some of the things in here. Being an animal lover, I could really identify with some of the behaviors and thought processes that went on. Each story had a moment that stuck with me and, even a day later, I'm still snickering over.

For only being 99 cents, this is a cute little read that is well worth the money. I highly recommend it if you need/want a breather from all the spicy hot romance I tend to post about. I would totally grab this if I were you! ~ D. F. Krieger

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Writer Wednesday: 10 Ways to Tick Off An Editor

I've been posting writing tips on a fairly regular basis. Most are how-to or explanations of writing terminology. I suppose I'm feeling a little snarky today, but I've decided to give you all some tips. Hold these tips dear, for I've can vouch for every one of these first hand (as an editor, not an author).

1) E-mail an editor asking about guidelines that are clearly stated on the website. Make sure when you do, that you got the e-mail from the publisher's website. Extra points if the guidelines are far easier to find than the editors e-mail!

2) We like e-mail. We like it so much, that we want to spend all day doing nothing but replying to e-mails. Heck, we have nothing better to do. So when you want to e-mail repeatedly over the same thing within a handful of hours, go for it! Especially if it is during hours that sane people sleep.

3) OR e-mail us without invitation asking us to review a piece you are working on that you have absolutely no intention on submitting to us or our publisher. Bonus points if you want us to "give some brief suggestions or edits".

4) Act offended if you submit to us and we send you an acceptance letter. Editors adore finding a manuscript worth accepting, only for the author to turn us down.

5) Other authors? What do you mean we have other authors we are currently working with? No! Absolutely not. We live for your manuscripts alone and shall return edits within a matter of a handful of hours. Always.

6) When our guidelines clearly state story over a certain word count amount, send us a small poem you expect to get published. We totally understand that you need no boundaries for your artistic expression.

7) Do NOT format your submission according to guidelines. Guidelines is just really another word for "unnecessary boundaries" anyway. Promise.

8) Spell check is for college papers and secretaries. Never reread what you've written in an attempt to self edit. This applies to your manuscript, synopsis, and especially query letters.

9) When an editor tells you how they like you to apply edits, ignore them. Do it your way, or better yet, the way your old/other/first editor used to do it. 

10) Fight your editor over every single comma, spelling change, or content suggestion they make. Your work is perfect the way it is and our skills will only kill your darling.

~ D. F. Krieger

Disclaimer: These rules, in no way, apply to any of the authors I've worked with. My authors are spectacular people that I adore working with. These rules apply to people that I have never worked with and that, after the above stunts, I'd rather not work with them. Ever.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Writer Wednesday: Writer's Honor Code

I posted the original back in August of last year and many of you enjoyed it. I'm reposting it today because I've noticed there seems to be a lot of strife lately amongst us writers. What? Why? That makes no sense. But I see it nonetheless, and so I thought it was time to remind everyone of the code again.

I joined a writer's group on Facebook roughly six months ago and one of the posts was someone asking if there was an honor code among writers (like among thieves). Several people had responded, but I noticed there didn't seem to be a good, solid answer.

Gah! I must have an honor code,because now that I know there isn't one, it makes a little voice in the back of my head scream and writhe like a child having a tantrum. I WANT AN HONOR COOOOODE!

I did what any writer would do. I found one! Okay, so really I made it up, but my blog, my rules, right? Right.

Writer's Honor Code

1) One must never steal ideas when a fellow writer posts a WIP on their blog/website/etc.

2) One must not treat their fellow writer with actions born of jealousy

3) One must not scoff at other genres or the writers that write them.

4) One must be just as willing to give support to their fellow writer as demand it.

5) One must not think less of a fellow writer for choosing a different publishing route.

6) One must never try to one-up a fellow writer, especially in public.

7) One must always remember that an unpublished writer is still a writer.

8) One must always remember that it is not a competition to see who has the biggest back list/best publisher/greatest genre/most fans. 

There's my eight rules of the Writer's Honor Code. I made eight because it's an awesome number (and I couldn't think of anything else within the five minute period I had to scribble this down). Now, go forth my fellow writers and REMEMBER THE CODE!!! ~ D. F. Krieger

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Writer's Wednesday: Purple Prose

Today we're going to discuss that thing called Purple Prose. As usual, I'll attempt to give you a working definition so when I begin to rant, you at least have an idea of what I'm talking about.

Purple Prose: Flowery language that dances around sexual concepts to help keep them from being offensive.

I'll admit, this was something even I had to learn the hard way. *snicker* Purple prose has its place in writing, but not, generally, in the kinds of books I write...or usually read. Now granted, Breathless Press does have a Sweet Confections line. I'm sure purple prose would work nicely there, because if you write a Sweet Confection, the character's don't have sex anyway.

But if you write erotic romance, you're going to have to get used to the following: penis, dick, cock, clit (or clitoris), vagina, pussy, cunt, nipples, breasts, tits, and any other word that blatantly states a body part used for sex. I know, some of those words in that list, I would never say aloud. And you don't have to use all of them in your own writing.

I believe the concept of purple prose needs to be couple with the concept of actually writing sex in an erotic romance. If you use the following to describe a sex scene:

"He tasted the sweet essence of her lotus petals."

...then you are using purple prose. If the idea of writing something like:

"He lapped at the entrance of her pussy, enjoying the taste as she came for him."

...has your panties in a twist, you probably aren't ready to write erotic romance. Stick with writing sweet romance and just leave the sex scenes out.

Don't worry, writing sex and becoming embarrassed about it isn't based on age or, in some cases, even how seasoned of a writer you are. As is true for everything else in the world, there is a "to each their own" theme here. I've met authors who are barely mid-twenties and can write so dirty even I turn red in the face. On the other hand, I'm met authors in their forties who blush furiously if you say the word sex. And the same is true for the other way around. For me, it took actually writing a sex scene to come to terms with it. I had to learn that when I meant "cock" I couldn't say "ding-a-ling".

Writing Sail My Oceans was a struggle. Sex scenes were so difficult, writing one could take me hours. All because I shied away from basic words and tried to come up with wordier, acceptable things. Things that, in the end, weren't acceptable at all. I remember a certain phrase getting highlighted by my editor with a comment that said "Cock?  :)". *Head/desk*

I suppose the lesson for today is, write what you are comfortable with, but understand certain genres call for certain amounts of crassness. If you write erotic, you're going to have to be erotic with your explanations. If that isn't for you, that's fine. Write YA, write sweet romances, write something that doesn't require the use of those filthy, dirty, smutty words. The point is, write what you are comfortable with because, if you don't, you won't enjoy writing at all. If you didn't enjoy writing it, chances are the reader won't enjoy reading it. ~ D. F. Krieger