D. F. Krieger

Monday, October 28, 2013

10 Gaming Quirks I Have

I like gaming, a lot. I mean, a lot. It is my stress relief, my relaxation, and the savior of my sanity. I have a variety of games I play, but most of them tend to run on the fantasy and magic side. Over the years, and during the course of various games, I've learned some valuable things. I'd like to share some of my pearls of wisdom with you all, and for anyone who is thinking about ganging up with me in the future on an MMORPG, I suggest you take notes:

1. I have learned that no matter how many times you scream, "Stay in the fucking ball, you bastard!" at a wild Pokemon, they will not listen. In fact, it seems the yelling only motivates them to defy me more.

2. I like playing a healer. I take it very seriously. Never...ever...tell me I heal too often/much. I will show you what it's like to play chicken with your health bar.

3. If you are one of those jerks who goes into a dungeon with a group I'm in, then states "Away from keyboard, auto-following healer" and you are gone for more than ten minutes, I will make you regret it. I will run you into a wall until you are stuck...alone...in a monster-filled room. I will leave you there. >:}

4. I don't care how lone-wolf you claim to be. If you have come into a dungeon as part of a party, you will need to be part of the party. Don't speak if you don't want to. That's fine. But if you run off to Leroy Jenkins something, I will let you die. *In a wise tone* "I am here for the good of the many, not the one."

5. I am the person who is great at sniping in shooting games. I'm also the person who will accidentally run my team mates over with a tank while screaming, "I'm sorry!" Never let me drive the tank. Never tell me to drive the tank. Or the jeep. Or the mecha. Or the airship. Just...don't let me drive, okay? Lots of people die, not all of them intentionally.

6. If you assassinate me, I will make it an effort to hunt you down and exact revenge for the rest of the session. This rule especially applies if you tea bag my corpse. If you do that, I will bypass all your team to blow you up, over and over, with a grenade or rocket launcher. Tea bag me more than once...I'll get the tank (see rule 5) and pull a Johnny off The Shining.

7. I avoid killing innocent fluffy creatures at all costs. If I must kill them for a quest, I will make sad faces. If you mock me over it, I will turn on you with friendly fire.

8. I name my mounts and pets, even if I can't name them in game. If you point out my names are girly (like naming my pet rat Mr. Fluffles McSqueak,) or you mock me for this practice, I will turn on you with friendly fire.

9. If you are doing a crap job, I will lecture you the entire dungeon verbally. It doesn't matter if you can't hear me. It's my solemn belief that if I yell loud enough what an idiot you are, somehow it will change the course of your actions. This especially applies to tanks who do stupid crap like gather every monster in an entire area on purpose before attacking. Or (goddess forbid) those rare occasions I'm not the healer, and someone else is. I hate healers who let people's health bars get to half before they start healing.

10. I tend to be a completionist. Even if I get the "Game Won" screen, I won't consider it truly beat until every single stupid thing has been done. "Collect all the Pokemons! Max out all the classes! Own all the shinies! Kill all the bad guys! Unlock all the achievements!"

For the record, I love gaming with other people. I'm on several platforms and I don't mind rotating through them. If you ever want to play a game with me, don't hesitate to let me know. Currently, I play:
Final Fantasy Realm Reborn
Pokemon X
Harvest Moon: Tale of Two Towns
Animal Crossing: New Leaf
Grand Fantasia

Games I used to play, that I will play again if you tell me you want to play with me:

White Knight Chronicles I
White Knight Chronicles II
Halo 4
War of the North (Xbox or PS3 version)
Pokemon White 2

And here's some of my favorite things to say:
"CTBS!"  <--Can't talk, button smashing
"You kill, I heal!"
"Get in the fucking ball!"
"Just one more level."

Hope to play with you soon! ;)   ~ D. F. Krieger

1 comment:

ellagrey said...

That's a whole level of nutty that I can't help but admire :)